Inner Battle and learning to stand

As I said in my last blog I have started counseling. I am learning more and more about myself, but most of all, I am facing my fears. I have stopped running from my past and am now embracing it. Everyone has a past, a history, and a story to tell. Yes, every persons is unique and no two people have the exact same story. Even if you lived in the same household, your story is different. This is because we all see from a different perspective. Your perspective is key to your victory. How you view a situation determines your outcome. If you see a situation as hopeless, you fight as though you already lost. If you remind yourself that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens you, you will fight as though the battle has already been won.
I am learning I have to change my mindset and perspective on alot of things. One is how I view myself. They say,"We are our own worse critic" and that is because most of the time we look in the mirror and only see our flaws. I realized the other day, when I look in the mirror i don't focus on myself. I focus on what I am doing. I fix my hair, brush my teeth, or do my makeup but I never really look at me. I see the outside, but never look past it.
A few weeks ago, I did my first race ever! I ran/jogged a 5k. It is definitely harder to run outside than in a gym...just sayin! Anyways, when I was preparing for the race I was doing like 6 miles a day in the gym and thought that it was going to be easy. Man was I wrong!!! About half way through I thought I wasn't going to make it. My knees were hurting and my legs were on fire. I met a girl named Tegan and we did the last mile together. It's easier to keep going when you have someone doing it with you. When I turned the corner and saw the finish line, I began to cry! I couldn't believe that I had done it! I was really going to finish this race!! The last bit of it I ran, even though my legs felt like they were going to fall off!
This was a small victory, but it made a huge impact. It reminded me not to lose focus, even when I can't see the finish line! I may still be struggling to win, but at least I'm still fighting! When I reach my goal weight, I'm not just going to be skinny... I'm going to be free!! I am learning and dealing with the root issues! So I can figure out what got me to this point in the first place and overcome it. Because if I lose the weight but don't deal with the issues, I will end up right back from where I started!
Part of it is, I need to believe I am worth it! I need to believe I am worth fighting for! I am worth the victory! God made me with a purpose and part of it is to become free and so that He can use me to free others.
Ok.... I'm going to stop for now because this is long, but I'll be back with updates soon!! Love you all! :)