The only failure is when you Quit!

I am reading a book called "You are Not What You Weigh," by Lisa Bevere. It is one of the most phenominal books I have ever read. I recommend that everyone read it. She helps you realize that you are not alone in this struggle, but it is your choice whether or not to make a change. I just came off of a 3 day fast. I decided to do this to hear God's voice more clearly and to allow God to show me how to eat right and submit myself completely to Him in this area.
Something we have to realize is, God is not just God in some area's of your life, He is God in every area. He cares about every detail and wants us to allow Him access. You see, I didn't allow God access to this part of my life because I saw it as ugly. I didn't want Him to see such a disgraceful side of me. But not allowing God access only hurt me. The wounds that were locked inside that room weren't healed. Most people think that if you are overweight there is something wrong with you, and they're right. There are wounds that you and I are trying to hide instead of just letting God have it.
In Psalm 139, God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made. So why is it that when we look in the mirror we find it so incredibly hard to say "I Love You"? We have no problem saying it to our family and friends, but it seems impossible to say it to ourselves and acctually mean it. Every person is made in God's image, so how dare we say to anyone including ourselves that they are ugly??? I'm still walking through this process, but instead of pushing God away from that room and locking the door, I am embracing it.
Today for the first time probably ever, I did 5 miles in the gym. Usually when it starts getting really hard I give up, but I chose to push through the pain and see what I was truly made of. I pictured God saying I could do it, just a little further. God is my biggest encourager! I also heard Jillian Michaels in my head screaming "unless you bleed, puke, or die Keep Moving." lol! Anyways, I have never been so proud after a work out in my life. I proved to myself that the strength is there, I just have to believe in myself and keep pushing. The only failure is when you quit. You can do this!
The process isn't always easy and it may hurt! But it will be sooo worth it in the end! Give yourself a chance. Let God work through the pain and love yourself enough to make a change! My life will be a testimony of God's faithfulness! Thank you for reading. I will continue to write.

The Fight Begins

This is my blog to weight loss. I decided to do this to not only watch myself change but to help others who are walking through the same thing or who may have a story like mine. From a young age you form habits, whether good or bad. One of the habits you form are eating habits. My parents learned from their parents, and their parents from their parents and so on. My parents didn't have good eating habits, so naturally I didn't either.

When I was younger my dad didn't always have the best temper. He had a bad temper and it was mostly when he was drinking. He would make me a plate of buttered spaghetti that was an adult portion. To this day I hate buttered spaghetti. Anyways, I had to eat everything on my plate or else get my tail beat. My cousins moved in with us for a while and the same went for them. They didn't always eat their food, so all 3 of us would get it. So finally instead of getting spanked, I would eat my food and theirs.

For a long time I blamed my weight and the way I was on my family. When I went to Masters Commission I worked through all of those issues and you know what? I realized those things weren't happening to me now and it is up to me and the decisions I make that affect my future. I decided to start fighting the battle to lose the weight and make changes in my life. I began this journey at 376 lbs. I lost 32 with the help of my friend Emily. Then during the summer before my 3rd year, I lived with a family whom I became very close to. Wendy became a mom to me. I have never met someone who cared, believed in me, and pushed me to prove to myself I can do this. She helped me along the way and during that time I lost another 44 lbs.

So far I have lost 76 lbs total and I have recently started on a routine workout schedule. I have a membership to the YMCA and their is a personal trainer helping me with losing weight. I feel so good after a work out and am getting stronger everyday. I love it. I finished my first full week of working out with a routine everyday. 1 hour of cardio everyday, 1hour of strength training Mon. Wed. & Fri., and watching what I eat is how I am doing it. I am determined to do this. I am making a change so that I can help others make a change.

I will keep blogging to help keep myself accountable. Thank you for reading. :)