Failure and Frustration

A very smart lady told me that I should share every aspect of my journey. So I have named this particular blog Failure and Frustration. I have no problem with admitting it's really hard for me to do it on my own. It sometimes puts me to tears when my friends are losing weight faster than me when I work so hard! I just don't understand! I sometimes wonder if this will be the story of my life..... A NEVER ending uphill battle. Just once in my life I want something to be easy, but I guess I wouldn't appreciate the victory as much.
You may be asking why I feel this way. I just moved back to Alabama, went to another country, started a new job, and have been pretty much at the same weight for a month! Ahhhhhhhh..... seriously! It's hard to keep the same routine, when all the circumstances change! I'm not going to lie, I really miss my trainer and my gym in NC!!!
I work at a private preschool now and I really love it! However when you work with kids, you never know what they are going to say. One of the little girls in my class said to me today, Ms. Tasha, you're too fat... You need to lose weight! as she finished her sentence another little boy said yeah you have a big belly. Normally this would not bother me, but since I have been feeling so frustrated, it really affected me.
I know this is another hurdle I have to get over, it's just hard at the moment. I'm being very open and honest. I realize in order to change my life and help others to change theirs, I have to be willing to share every part of me... The good, the bad, and yes the ugly!! :(
I have decided to go to counseling. I've always seen counseling in a negative way.I thought there must be something seriously wrong with you if you need counseling. But I now understand that it's a way to get an outsiders point of view. As they say, sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees. It's also nice to know you're not going crazy and you are NOT alone! I talked to a very special lady this week. God knew I needed it because it came at the perfect time! She talked to me and shared some things I really needed to hear. She gave me a letter and told me to read it everyday for 30 days. It's called A love Letter From Your Father. It's basically a love letter from God to you. It tells you what he thinks of you and his plans for you. I have been enjoying reading it. Now, I just need to believe thewords I am saying out loud!
No one every promised this would be easy! You are not defined by your failure, you are defined by the choice you make when you fail. do you get up and try again, or do you except defeat? That's where true character is shown!
Don't worry, I'll get out of this funk and continue on. I know it may seem impossible at times, but I'm not worried! God said in him all things are possible. So I have to do this through him and stop trying to do it on my own! Well that's all for now. :)

Facing new Challanges!!

I am getting ready to go to Guatemala on a mission trip, and I'm so so so excited!! I'm a little worried about the food that will be provided, but portioning well and preparing ahead of time will help me continue in my success! Last year we ate alot of chicken, white rice, flour tortillas, eggs, and pancakes. I can eat this, just in moderation. I'm going to take a few boxes of pure protein bars, brown rice cakes, peanut butter, and most importantly my 34 oz water bottle! Drinking 100 to 150 oz of water a day is key in losing weight. Most people are dehydrated, if you don't think you are take this challange and find out. Drink 50 oz of water before noon and 50 oz of water before 7pm. If you are constantly using the potty, you are dehydrated. If you find you are going as you would normally, congratulations on keeping yourself hydrated!! :)
I will admit I hit a platue for a few weeks and it killed me! I was so struggling with not seeing a result for my hard work, but I have to cut myself a little slack.... I was in the middle of moving and the stress of trying to find a job. Stress usually makes you gain weight, but luckily that didn't happen, I just stayed the same. You know, wen you drink alot of water you begin to really taste the difference in it. Like I don't like the taste of Aqafina, but I love smart water! Some waters just taste weird. like the water from my sink taste like it has metal in it. Yuck! Anyways, yesterday was Easter and I ate so much candy, that I will be happy if I never eat or see any of it ever again. I didn't really eat alot, but when you don't eat junk all week and just have it on Sunday's, a little can seem like alot. It made my tummy hurt!
So I am continuing on this journey but I have added a few passengers on this train of success! My friend Lisa is now working out with me and I have to say I love it!! it's always so much more fun to go to the gym with a friend! She sarted with me this past friday, and I have to say I am so proud of her! She has the same get it done attitude as me so I think we will do well together, pushing and encouraging each other! Her first day she did all the strength training I put her through and did 2 miles on the elliptical! She did great! She gave me the greatest compliment ever, she told me I'm like Jillian Michaels when I train but I am also super encouraging! That made my day. she told me the whole time she didn't like me, but I just replied with a "I don't care!" lol! I guess watching Jillian on BL really rubbed off! Hahahahaha!
So in case I didn't share it with you, my newest dream is to become a personal trainer and a motivational speaker!!! Who better to help someone dealing with weight issues than someone who has been there?!?! This is a bi dream for me, because it will have to be God helping me and requires alot of hard work, but it is going to be so so so worth it!!
Lisa and I are going to a Zumba class this afternoon and I am so looking forward to it!! If you get a chance, go to a dance or kickboxing class at the gym! You'll have a blast and burn between 600-800 calories in an hour!! I guess that's it for now, but make a healthy choice today! Because healthy choices lead to a long healthy life!!! Love you all! Feel free to share your stories with me!! <3