Failure and Frustration

A very smart lady told me that I should share every aspect of my journey. So I have named this particular blog Failure and Frustration. I have no problem with admitting it's really hard for me to do it on my own. It sometimes puts me to tears when my friends are losing weight faster than me when I work so hard! I just don't understand! I sometimes wonder if this will be the story of my life..... A NEVER ending uphill battle. Just once in my life I want something to be easy, but I guess I wouldn't appreciate the victory as much.
You may be asking why I feel this way. I just moved back to Alabama, went to another country, started a new job, and have been pretty much at the same weight for a month! Ahhhhhhhh..... seriously! It's hard to keep the same routine, when all the circumstances change! I'm not going to lie, I really miss my trainer and my gym in NC!!!
I work at a private preschool now and I really love it! However when you work with kids, you never know what they are going to say. One of the little girls in my class said to me today, Ms. Tasha, you're too fat... You need to lose weight! as she finished her sentence another little boy said yeah you have a big belly. Normally this would not bother me, but since I have been feeling so frustrated, it really affected me.
I know this is another hurdle I have to get over, it's just hard at the moment. I'm being very open and honest. I realize in order to change my life and help others to change theirs, I have to be willing to share every part of me... The good, the bad, and yes the ugly!! :(
I have decided to go to counseling. I've always seen counseling in a negative way.I thought there must be something seriously wrong with you if you need counseling. But I now understand that it's a way to get an outsiders point of view. As they say, sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees. It's also nice to know you're not going crazy and you are NOT alone! I talked to a very special lady this week. God knew I needed it because it came at the perfect time! She talked to me and shared some things I really needed to hear. She gave me a letter and told me to read it everyday for 30 days. It's called A love Letter From Your Father. It's basically a love letter from God to you. It tells you what he thinks of you and his plans for you. I have been enjoying reading it. Now, I just need to believe thewords I am saying out loud!
No one every promised this would be easy! You are not defined by your failure, you are defined by the choice you make when you fail. do you get up and try again, or do you except defeat? That's where true character is shown!
Don't worry, I'll get out of this funk and continue on. I know it may seem impossible at times, but I'm not worried! God said in him all things are possible. So I have to do this through him and stop trying to do it on my own! Well that's all for now. :)